Entertainment at 'Booty'camp

"Thank you, Myrandah, for the entertainment you provided for us!"

Myrandah, yes, Myrandah from that 'Saturday Night', decided to join the workout class yesterday.  Twenty minutes late, looking all cool, she finally decides to begin her 'warm up' which, by the way, the rest of us good girls had already completed fifteen minutes ago.  She positions herself next to me, which was a bad idea.  She's nothing more than a distraction.  She doesn't complete her exercises and she complains the whole time! I'm working my ass off, hard, accomplishing every task given to me (*clear throat* yeah, right) and Myrandah is right next to me laughing the entire time. We're thirty minutes into our workout, so we're just about dead when...

Carla: "OK, I need you all to do thirty crunches....GO!"
Me (completing crunches, gasping for air): ".....27, 28, 29..."
Myrandah: (on her 4th crunch) ".....27, 28, 29, 30! Phew! That was tough."

Carla: "Now give me 40 Russian Twists! GO!"
Me: "4?"
Carla: "40!"
Me: "Dammit!"
I'm faithfully completing my effing Russian Twists... "OH. 36, MY. 37, GOD. 38..."
Myrandah: (on her 5th twist) "....38, 39, 40! Phew! Oh my. I'm sooooo tired."
Me: *out of breath, panting* "Are you kidding? You've only done 4 crunches and 5 twists in 45 minutes!"

Carla: "Again!"

Carla: "Now get in plank position.  You're going to hold for 30 seconds, lower yourself for 30 seconds, up for 30 seconds, and so on. Got it?"
Me:  "um hmm."
We begin.
Me: "....26, kill, 27, me, 28, now, 29, 30....Oh. 1, my, 2, God, 3......"
Myrandah's barely in position, laughing,,,still. She may as well be relaxing, reading a book...ON HOW TO WORKOUT LIKE THE REST OF US!

Carla: "Alright, Ladies, get into position."
Me to Myrandah: "The one where we die?"
Myrandah just laughs and is still looking fresh.... of course she does.

Carla: "OK, now we're gonna do 'sections'."
I was appointed to do squats while Myrandah was appointed to jump onto a box ten feet high.  No joke.  Better her than me! I'm all about saving face.  I know I would've killed myself on there! The other girls were appointed to different things such as killer ropes, a treadmill designed to kill you if you don't hold on and a few other torture devices.  The appointed exercise would begin and last for thirty loooonnnggg seconds, then the whistle would blow and we'd quickly (without a breath) move to the next appointed spot and continue for another looonnnnggg thirty seconds.  This would go on for, what seemed to be, F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

We're in position, ready to die.  The whistle blows.  Myrandah attempts to jump onto the box but ends up on the floor.  I'm doing squats and all I see is a slow motion, backwards, sideways fall with arm and legs all over the place! It was a perfect slow motion fall and had I had my phone, I could've taken 10 photos and video footage of it all! lol  She managed to make it look graceful (if that's even possible). I couldn't help but laugh so hard! Oh! Don't worry, she was laughing the entire way down...and she was totally OK! I could not stop laughing! With every squat I did, I swore I peed just a little bit!

You know this all happened because she wasn't on time and wasn't completing her exercises like the rest of us good girls. That's what happens.

"Myrandah, perhaps now you will be a good girl and focus, instead of making fun of Carla and her muscular legs."

"I'm kidding, Carla! She didn't make fun of your legs....it was your flat stomach!"

SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY, MYRANDAH!

~Myrandah's fan