Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sin is a Four Letter Word

I'm on the edge of letting go completely of someone I love.  The love that I've freely given has not been reciprocated the way it should be.  There are lies, hurt and anger that have now taken the place of laughter, happiness and truth.  Depression slowly tries to manipulate my life.  These feelings are not of God.  I will not allow someone to control my emotion,  this is emotional abuse as far as I'm concerned.  The hurt is deep and repairing that seems impossible right now.  The trust is no longer, therefore, a solid foundation has not been established.  The anger is deep as well.  But slowly with God's love and guidance, I am able to continue moving forward.  I'm able to still love, regardless! Incredible!  I'm fascinated how God's love for me still outweighs every other ungodly feeling that has been imposed on my heart.  Sin is a four letter word that destroys you inside and out.  It destroys relationships that could've been.  It's a haven full of disease.  Heaven only knows if any of what I'm saying makes sense.  It's like brainstorming in a storm.  But I know, this too, shall pass.  God promises that.  I must be still and patient.  I must still praise him in the storm.  I must still be thankful for my blessings around me AND I AM!!!
The words below hold true in a sense and I relate to them in a way. Some of the lines in italics hit home the hardest for me.
When you love a sinner
You hate the sin
You hate the temptress in a bottle, for choosin' him again
and you blame the cold for the winter
When you love a sinner.
I tell myself that every thing's okay
I paint a pretty smile on my face
You're lovin' says, "he'll change"
but on his breath and in his veins
the truth still remains
deep down, you know
that's it's a crime
you know you didn't pull the trigger, but you're the one who does the time
and you pay the debt, and you're the lender
when you love a sinner
I tell myself that every thing's okay
I paint a pretty smile on my face
But I'm slowly lettin' go
'cause in my heart I know, that I can't make him better
and I've been goin' under and now I understand
you can't tread water with a drowning man
I love a sinner
I justify it how I can
so, it's the sin I'm leaving, not the man.
*sung beautifully by Martina McBride

I ask at this time for prayer, if you would.  I miss me.  I want that strong girl back like yesterday! Thank you and much love
~me

4 comments:

  1. I'm going to go out on a limb and say honey, he is NOT worth it! Just know YOU ARE better and better than that. Know it, repeat it! My prayer is that you continue to open your mind, open your eyes, and see that the Lord provides when the timing is right and you have completely let go of an obstacle in the Lord’s way (Psalm 27:14 – “wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD”). Also take refuge in knowing that “whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9) A sinner will always be found out no matter how sly or cunning they appear in their minds to be. Much love and luck to you on this journey of letting go, getting back to yourself, and letting the Lord continue to provide in ways unimaginable.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. Who is this? 'Anonymous' would write 'much love'?

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    1. Again, kind words appreciated. But I would greatly appreciate you leaving your name. Thank you. God bless.

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