Touchdown...No pun intended!

Austin has wanted to play football for about as long as I can remember...at least a couple days or so.  Probably longer than that, but I have a terrible memory so I'm going with a couple days to be safe.   Well, looks like he's in! Middle school football,,,just the beginning of what is yet to come! First things first, a physical must be done before Austin is even allowed to participate in after school practice on Monday.  So, Gracie will be accompanying Austin to his doctor visit for his very first 'touchdown'! Get it? Touch down? Sick, I know! lol  I tried so hard to get an after work appointment so I could witness, first hand, the body language and facial expressions I can only imagine are happening as I type! But as luck would have it, there were no open appointments. Ugh!!!  I would give anything to be there right now getting footage on my phone! Bad parent? No way! Just concerned.... (wink, wink). I tried to explain to Austin what I think happens during a physical. Annnnd,,, I might have thrown in a few extra events like the 'poking of the rear' (with a 10 inch wooden swab) to make sure it's functioning properly and the 'measuring of the...' (pulling it as far as it will go) to make sure he gets 'fitted' properly for his uniform.  I'm only trying to make his visit better/easier. The only thing he'll probably have to endure is have the doctor 'cup' him and make him cough...now isn't that muuucchh better than the other couple things I mentioned? I believe so. 
Austin called me on his way to the doctor.  This is how the conversation went down:
AJ:  Grandma wants to know what doctor to take me to.
Me: Our family doctor.  The only one we have. (silence)  AJ, did you bathe?
AJ:  Yes.
Me: Did you brush your teeth?
AJ: Yes.
Me: Did you put deodorant on?
AJ: Yes.
Me: Did you scrub your....
AJ:  interrupts me and says, "YES!"
Me:  OK, just checking...
Me:  You know what they're gonna do, right?
AJ:  (annoyed) Yes, mom! Yes, yes.
Me:  Are you excited?
AJ:  Not really.
Me: (trying to hold back laughter) Good luck.
AJ:  Thanks.
Me: Have fun
AJ:  I'll try.

My poor kid! I was laughing so hard and he just wasn't having it.  He sounded so annoyed with me.  Football comes with certain 'have to's' and he seems to understand that.  What a kid! He's excited about football, but the 'touchdown'??? Not so much!
I'll have to add another entry about the actual visit.  To be continued...

~Future NFL player's mom


Just got the call from Austin!!! Here's how this conversation went:
Me: How did it go?
AJ:  Good.
Me:  What did they do?
AJ:  Just what you think they did. Checked me for everything!
Me:  What did they say?
AJ:  That I was normal in every test they did. And that I am cleared to play sports.
Me:  Did they check your bum?
AJ:  No.  I thinks that's only for adults.  But the other part *insert coughing sound*.....
Me:  *laughing*
AJ:  Jacob said they didn't have to check my prostate.
Me:  *still laughing*  Did they tell you to drop your pan...?
AJ:  (annoyed) Yes they did Mom!
Me:  Was Grandma in there with you?
AJ:  Yes, but she had to leave for the end...if you know what I mean.
Me:  Were you embarrassed?
AJ:  Not really.
Me:  Would you get a physical again?
AJ:  I mean, for sports I would.
Me:  Did they 'pull it'?
AJ:  Mom! Really?  These questions?
Me:  Well? Did they?
AJ:  NO! I'm about to hang up on you with these questions.
Me:  Alright...that's all.
AJ:  So, I made it.  I'm gonna be in football.
Me:  Good for you, son! I'm proud of you.
AJ:  Why are you laughing?
Me:  I was worried about you. Well, you're home now and you can rest.
AJ:  Yup. 
Me: OK, I'll see you later today.
AJ:  OK, Mom.  Bye.
Me: Bye. 

They joys of being a single mom! This was a first for Austin....and me! lol