Phone Conversations That Make My Day!

For the record, names are not real (in fact, they're not even names) to protect the identity of others and my job.
Me: (Well, you know who I am)
Employee: Soandso
Client/Customer: CC
Name of Company: ABC Title

Me: ABC Title
CC: Is this ABC Title?
Me: *confused*

Me: ABC Title
CC: Is Soandso there?
Me: I'm sorry, Soandso is not in today.  Would you like Soandso's voice mail?
CC: Do you know where Soandso is?
Me: *thinking....If I were psychic I would* Um... no, I'm sorry, I don't.  Would you like to leave a message on their voice mail? Or can Soandso's assistant help you?
CC: No.  I wish you knew where Soandso was...
Me: *confused*

Me: ABC Title
CC: Let me talk to Soandso
Me: *thinking...please? Maybe?* Soandso is away from his/her desk right now.  Would you like their voicemail?
CC: No.  It's urgent that I speak with them now. 
Me: OK, would you like to hold?
CC: No.  I don't want to hold.
Me: Mmmk,,, would you like to call back?
CC: No.  I'll be out of the office. Do you know if Soandso is in the restroom?
Me: *confused and thinking...Uh...why? You planning on meeting up there anytime soon?* Really?

Me: ABC Title
CC: I'd like to talk to Soandso.
Me: One moment please.  *I look around, see soandso sitting at his/her desk and transfer call*
*call returned*
Me: How may I help you?
CC: You transferred me to their voicemail
Me: *thinking...I actually did not transfer you to their voicemail but...*
CC: Is Soandso there?
Me: Yes, however, Soandso must be busy at this time.  Would you like to leave a message? Or can I transfer you to their assistant?
CC: No.  Go ahead and transfer me to Soandso again.
ME: One moment, please. *call transferred*
*call returned*
Me: May I help you?
CC: uh, ya, can you please let Soandso know I called?
Me: Of course.  *thinking...wouldn't leaving a message on their voice mail be the same thing?* lol

Me: ABC Title
CC: *silence*
Me: ABC Title
CC: *silence*
Me: Hello?
CC: I have the wrong number
Me: lol, that's totally OK. 

Me: ABC Title
CC: May I speak to Soandso?
Me: Soandso is on another line right now, would you like to hold or leave a message?
CC: yes.
Me: *confused*

Me: ABC Title
CC: I'd like to talk to Soandso, please.
Me: Soandso is with a client right now, would you like to leave a message?
CC: Do you know how long that client will be there?
Me: *crickets*

Me: ABC Title
CC: I just got a call from you
Me: *thinking... I didn't, or haven't called anyone*
Me: I'm sorry, are you working with anyone in particular?
CC: Yes.
Me: OK, can you tell me who?
CC: Oh, yes.  That would be Soandso
Me: Thank you, one moment, please.  *call transferred*

Me: ABC Title
CC: Hi.
Me: Hello, how are you?
CC: Not great.  I've had so many problems with my health.....on another note...
Me: I'm so sorry to hear that.  Did you need to speak with one of our officers regarding title? *Thinking... last time I checked I wasn't a therapist*.
CC: Ya, I guess. 

Me: ABC Title
CC: Can you transfer me to Soandso?
Me: Soandso isn't here today.  Would you like to leave a message or can I get his/her assistant to help you?
CC: No.  I'll call back in an hour.
Me: *confused*

Me: ABC Title
CC: I need to talk to Soandso
Me: OK, one moment, please. *call transferred*
Two minutes go by and phone rings again
Me: ABC Title
CC: Uh, yes, I just called and left a voicemail for Soandso...can you let them know to check their messages?
Me: *laughing to myself and confused* Yes, sure will.  Thank you.

Me: ABC Title
CC: I need help
Me: *thinking... me too*

Me: ABC Title
CC: Hi, this is Otherclient and I'm calling from Otherbank.  I recently submitted a title request for Soandso about a day ago, via fax.  Do you know if he/she received it?
Me: *thinking...YES! You're the one with the fabulous fax cover letter!!!* Let me get you with his/her assistant to check on that for you.
CC: Thank you so much.
Me: No problem, have a great day.

Me: ABC Title
CC: I have an appointment in one hour with Soandso.  Will he/she be there?
Me: *confused*

Me: ABC Title
CC: Hi, I'm calling in regards to a property.
Me: OK, who did you need to speak with?
CC: I'm not sure.
Me: OK, do you have a file number?
CC: No.
ME: Do you have an address?
CC: No.
Me: Do you have a buyer/seller name?
CC: No. I'm sorry.
Me: *is this a joke?* OK, have you been working with someone in particular?
CC: I'm not sure what his name is. 
Me: *a.n.n.o.y.e.d.*

Me: ABC Title
CC: I'm returning a call from you guys. I just got a message.
Me: OK, how can I help you?
CC: I'm not sure who called.
Me: *confused* Did they leave a name on the message?
CC: I don't know.  I'll have to check and call you back. 
Me: *lol*

These are not made up! Promise! These are just a few of the actual calls that I've received from time to time that have stumped me, confused me and even made me laugh! I love this place and I love what I do.  Sometimes we get an angry one or two, or some that call repeatedly just to annoy the hell out of me, but honestly, this company is pretty awesome.  Thankfully, the majority of the calls are just to damn funny to complain about! :)

~Me