Breathe In, Laugh Out!: Back to Skool!

Here. We. Go.
August 27th marks day one of back to school. I'm excited for two reasons:
1. The boys won't be at home... all day long... frying their last brain cell playing Call of Duty (or whatever non-educational game they play these days) and watching 23 hours of House (the other hour is used wisely for eating, shitting and fluffing the pillows, in preparation, for more House).
2. My home will remain somewhat clean.
The downfall to my 'excitedness' is:
1. I now have to scrounge up lunch money.
2. I have to purchase school clothes and an unnecessary amount of school supplies (i.e. tennis balls, zip lock baggies and post its- ya, I know!)
3. I have to get ready to use my math skills, which we all know aren't very good...2 + 2 = 7.
4. I'll have to fill out all the 'beginning of the year' paperwork, TWICE! (don't they keep this shit on file????)
5. School projects- Not only will I have to use MY brain, but I'll have to spend money I don't have on crap I'll never use again instead of spending it on a great pair of Melani or BCBG heels. WTF?
6. I'll now play the role of:
     Nurse-because all of a sudden my kids are ALWAYS sick
     Chef- because they don't like cafeteria food and are STARVING when they get home
     Laundry mom- because now they want clean clothes (go figure)
     Chauffeur- because 'there's this dance', 'my friend's having a party', 'I have football practice', I have History Club meetings', 'I gotta go to tutoring' (ummm hmmm), 'I have a field trip to go on', etc. etc. It's exhausting!!!
     Teacher- because somehow they think I know what their homework is and when it's due
     Counselor- because... I'm supposed to put them in classes they like (lol).
7. I now have to wake up extra early, which puts me in a crap ass mood while trying to get dressed, and make sure Austin is up, out of bed and ready to rush out the door in time for the bus.  Thank goodness Jacob is finally more independent.  It took 16 years, but better late than never, I always say.
In honor of going back to school, I thought I'd throw out some humor.  For those of you who have kiddos in school, enjoy it, love it, make some wonderful memories and drink lots of wine. For those of you who don't, ugh!!!!! I'm sooo jealous! lol