Happy Birthday 'Gracie',,, ok,,, 'Mom'!

Saturday, August 18th- Gracie's birthday and another great adventure.  Mom had already planned her birthday for us.  Gruene Texas here we come! Only it wasn't just mom and myself...she added her sidekick Keila which meant her sidekick husband, Tom, was coming along as well! That only meant one thing; it was gonna be interesting, therefore,  I would make Jacob tag along for support and sanity.  Some of you may remember my 'garage sale adventures' from an earlier entry which would explain why I needed support from Jacob! Gracie and Keila, together, is like a margarita with cheap tequila; tastes great going down but'll kick your ass in the morning! Tom would be the lime. 

Anyhoo, we begin our little journey to Gruene Texas.  On the way there the conversation is all about the hot flashes (that I've yet to experience) and how they can really turn you into a beast of a woman! Traumatized from what I was hearing, I turn my head to look out the window and tune these two out.  Jacob was listening to his Ipod and Tom was listening to something out of the early 50's. 

We get to Gruene, park in an illegal parking space, and hope for the best.  Market Days are happening which means Gracie, Keila and Tom will purchase unneeded items and harass vendors about lowering prices....Note to Lucy, Ethel and Fred; "this isn't a yard sale".  Jacob and I parted from the trio as quickly as possible not only to save a little face, but to keep our sanity as long as possible. Unfortunately, we run into Gracie and Keila at the pasta stand.  Yes, they are buying pasta for the low price of 8.00 a pack.  Thought- I think you can save like 7.00 dollars at HEB! Anyway, Gracie spots us and forces us to try the cooked, flavored pasta. The convo went as such:
Gracie: "Hey!! Jacob, Anna, come here!" (she's busy making a scene waving her arms and stretching her head over the crowd)
Jacob leans towards me and out of the side of his mouth, while trying to smile, says, "act like you didn't see or hear her, mom."
While that sounded like a good idea, I had already made eye contact.  "It's her birthday, Jacob. We should please her."  We head over.  Keila was negotiating with the pasta vendor while Gracie was busy asking for samples Jake and I didn't want.  We get the samples, Gracie takes them and eats them.  Just as well.  We were looking for something a little better tasting like a snow cone being that it was 150 degrees outside.  Tom was at the other stand looking at the beer bottle chandeliers. 

After losing them for the fifth time, Jacob and I were profusely sweating as we walked around Gruene.  We took a couple pics along the way.

I know Gracie wanted this sign... and those glasses! 

After the walking, shopping and sweating, we finally meet up with the gruesome twosome plus one and their unneeded belongings.  It's getting close to dinner time so, Yay!!! Only one problem; we didn't have a specific place in mind.  We planned, originally, to eat at the Gristmill, but no A/C in the building was a bit of a turnoff.  We headed back to town.  Here was our conversation this time:
Tom- "Where do we wanna go?"
Keila- "Oh honey snookums, anywhere is fine." (Keila and Tom are sickening sweet!)
Gracie- "It's my birthday!"
Tom- "Well, birthday girl, where would you like to go?"
Gracie- "I don't know."
Jacob- "There's an Olive Garden..."
Keila- "Go down that street..." (totally not in the direction of any restaurants)
Gracie- "Look!! There's a garage sale sign!"
Keila- "We should eat there."
Me- "NO WE SHOULDN'T!"
Jacob- "Agreed."
Gracie- "I don't care where we go, I'm just hungry!"
Jacob- "Yes! me too!"
Me- (taking it allllll innnnn)
Jacob- "We already passed this place,,,twice."
Tom- "There's a Taco Bueno."
Keila- "Really sweet lips? Taco Bueno? For Gracie's birthday?"
All the while we've driven up and down I-35 like four times... in circles... literally.
Tom- "Let's go to Golden Corral."
Keila- "Ooooh, Kohl's! I love Kohl's."
Gracie- (thinking about her maxed out credit card and what she's not able to buy there)
Tom- "or we could go to......"
All- "OK!!! Golden Corral is great! Just park already!"
Tom- "Move out of the way people!" (directed at the people slowly crossing the street).
Tom- "How many points Jacob?"
Jacob- "huh?"
Keila and Gracie are still laughing and talking about the sofa and washing machine they saw at the yard sale and how it would be a good fit in their already packed houses.  Tom is now circling around the parking lot instead of I-35...progress.  Jacob is shaking his head,,,,I'm still taking it all in!
Keila- "Sweetheart, why are you going to try and park in this little space?"
Tom- "Because, puppy, it annoys you.  Don't worry. I will make it f..."
Gracie- "Just park!"
Keila- "You're not gonna fit, my love."
Gracie- "Watch that car, Tom."
Tom- "Why don't you all get out here and let me park where ever the hell I want to?"
We're all laughing as we exit the truck and let him 'do his thing'! We make it into Golden Corral and see the line snaked around like greedy people at Best Buy on Black Friday!
Me- "Helllll no! I ain't waiting this long..."
Gracie-"uh uh."
Keila- "Jacob, tell Thomas not to get down...hurry!"
Jacob- "mmmk?"
We all go back to the parking lot and see Tom still trying to park... lol.  Keila waves him down, yelling, "sweetheart, don't get out of the truck...it's packed in there...we're going to the Olive Garden!" I'm glad no one else heard our plans...
We pile in and back on I-35 we go.  We turn into the parking lot of Olive Garden and it's just as packed.  Is there nothing else to do in New Braunfels except eat at Golden Corral and Olive Garden?? Gdammit! By this point Jacob is weak from hunger, Gracie's acting like she's dying, Keila is directing traffic from inside the truck and Tom is still circling around I-35.  We finally make it to Montana Mike's Steakhouse.  Finally.  All I needed was a good margarita.  Done. Got one, chugged it and loved it.  We get seated at our table and Tom, the kindhearted man he is, puts a song on play on his phone for Gracie.  Big mistake! She wasn't even concerned about the current song playing, she wanted the damn BeeGees! I look at Jacob and we just smile.  "Tom has no idea that he's never getting his phone back!" Jacob quietly agrees. lol  So, not only does Tom have the BeeGees music on his phone, He also has a few other entertaining songs that don't interest Gracie one bit. Mom blasts the volume as loud as it can go as if falsetto singing isn't loud enough on it's own.  I'm sure the other 3000 people trying to enjoy dinner didn't mind the tunes from the hairy trio...
Dinner was a success and we even enjoyed a downpour of rain on our way to mom's for some home made coca cola cake (made by yours truly...Jacob). The 61 candles lit up the entire room!

It was awesome! A great afternoon, great dinner, great time and great people! I couldn't be more blessed to have such a beautiful, wonderful mother! "Happy birthday MOM! I love, love, love you!"

Prayer:  "Lord, please bless my mom with many more years.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  She's my everything! I thank you for all these wonderful years and for giving me such an amazing example.  She is love, she is thoughtful, she is caring, giving and a true heart.  Please bless my mother just as you've done and keep her safe so that we can share many more adventures together!"
~Amen