People with poor boundaries struggle with no to the control, pressure, demands and sometimes the real needs of others. (Hmmm.... interesting)
Sometimes people feel that if they say 'no' they may endanger their relationship with the other person, so they passively comply but inwardly resent. (Sounds familiar)
Proverbs 22:3 says "the prudent man sees the evil and hides himself".
The bible supports the idea of limiting togetherness for the sake of 'binding evil'
The heart is like a muscle, a trust muscle. This trust muscle needs to be used and exercised; if it is injured it will slow down and weaken.
Love concealed or love rejected can both kill us. Many people do not take ownership for how they resist love. They have a lot of love around them, but do not realize that their loneliness is a result of their own lack of responsiveness. (I wish some people would just realize this- life might be a better place).
Matthew 7:12 reads: As Jesus said, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do unto you". (This is one scripture that should be practiced by everyone!!!)
Behaviors have consequences. As Paul says, "A man reaps what he sows" Galatians 6:7. Galatians 6:8 reads: "THE ONE WHO SOWS TO PLEASE HIS SINFUL NATURE, FROM THAT NATURE WILL REAP DESTRUCTION; THE ONE WHO SOWS TO PLEASE THE SPIRIT, FROM THE SPIRIT WILL REAP ETERNAL LIFE." (Powerful) A person's drinking or abuse should have consequences. Proverbs 15:10 reads: "Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path".
(I thought this was especially smart. I've said this so many times), When we take responsibility for out-of-control behavior caused by loving the wrong things or valuing things that have no lasting value, when we confess that we have a heart that values things that will not satisfy, we can receive help from God and his people to 'create a new heart' within us! (Beautiful!!! That's exactly what I need; a new heart! Don't we all?)
The book was a great read, in fact, I read it in one day!! Got so much out of it. I recommend it for those of you who are feeling like me or just struggling within yourselves for whatever reason. Inspirational reads are always great for the soul and mind. I used to get 'looked down' on for reading, but quite honestly, I'm now just a little bit smarter than that person! lol
This book helped me understand more than just the pieces from above. I was able to dig a little deeper within myself and learned more. This is just a teeny bit of what I learned:
Having a healthy support system (operative word: HEALTHY) will give me the strength to say NO, remove myself from hurtful situations, and not have a fear of ending up alone. Sometimes we stay in hurtful situations because we might believe we will end up alone. Good news is I WILL NOT end up alone! I think I'm a pretty good find! (wink wink), not perfect, but a pretty good find.
I cannot change people, nor can I make them want to love me, spend time with me or even call me. I can't change many things in this world, but I CAN myself so that the way that I've been living in this world no longer controls me,,, and that feels good!
Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I still pray for certain things to change, certain people to change, but most of all I pray for myself to change. Proverbs 3:5-6 read: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Again, I hope that this has helped others in their journey like it's helping me.
This weekend I will be celebrating my Grandpa's birthday! My grandpa came around about a year before I was born. He isn't my biological grandfather, but he may as well be! He has never had a family of his very own, but graciously accepted a woman, with three children, stuck around, stood by their sides, showed them what a man really is, loved all the grandchildren that came along, made a home for us and gave us unconditional love! This man, I call 'Grandpa'. He is everything to me and I'm ever grateful that God chose him to love us. A man of few words, we all know how much he loves each of us by how he demonstrates thoughtfulness and strength through his actions. This is a real man! This is my Grandpa! "Happy Birthday Grandpa! I love you more than words and cannot thank you enough for being there to love me as your very own. I can only hope to find a man as accepting as you have been."
Today, I also celebrated my 'other' son's birthday! What a kid! I've had this wonderful boy in my life for 12 years!!! He used to drive me nuts when I was a huge beach whale (prego with Austin)! I had NO energy and He did! lol Beautiful blue eyes, gorgeous smile, just a blessing! His character is one to be cherished! Loving boy, I can't say enough about him! Today he turns 20 years old. His beautiful smile still warms my heart and his ability to make me laugh is one of his many wonderful qualities. "Tyler, I wish you a very happy birthday and know I will always love you!!! Always!"
~me
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