Comic Relief at the Gym

I'm just not sure why I feel the need to go to the gym and make myself feel 80 years old.  Not sure why.  But I do...and I did...last night.  I did really good with my eating for the day and still had roughly about 300 calories left over to play with.  I figure I'd go to the gym so that I wouldn't feed into my 'guilt' for not tracking cardio on my fitness pal, my buddy, my friend.com.  Anyway, I'm sporting my new workout pants and my new sports bra my sister bought for me (for my birthday- which hasn't happened yet...'Gracie moment').  I walk into the gym at my apartment complex (yes, I was cautious about my surroundings walking to the gym) and see that there are two females, one on the elliptical and one on the treadmill.  One spot for me in between the both of them. Great. So, I start my stretches and all I can hear is the fast pace, heavy breathing the younger girl is doing to the left of me.  I'm thinking she must have just started her running.  I mean listen to her, she sounds completely out of breath but doesn't have a bead of sweat on her face!  The other lady looks a little older than me and is making harsh, scary grunting noises.  Hmmm... she's probably been on for a very long time.  She's grunting and dripping in sweat!  Yuck!  Totally not the look I'm going for.
I proceed to walk my big ass over to the treadmill and act like I know how to work this one.  I usually use the one Forrest Gump was currently using.  But oh well, we must share.  I pick the level and hit start.  It starts at 1.0.  I pick up the pace to 3.0.  Wow!  I'm walking along and just watching the TV (Entertainment Tonight) and decide to peek over to my neighbors stats.  Uh..... she's on mile 3 on a speed of 6.5!!!!  My gosh!!  She was running like she had someone chasing her with a knife!  (Which wouldn't be too far fetched where we live!).  I'm struggling at 3.5 but decide to take it up to 4.5 to show off.  Probably a very bad decision on my part so early in this game!  Now I'm heavily breathing, like the ladies on either side of me, but they're both kicking ass and I'm slowly running myself to my grave!  I look over again and Forrest's t-shirt is plastered up against her belly with sweat and I wanted to throw up!  Not because of the sweat, but because she was extremely FLAT!!!  She must not have children!  (My excuse for everything!).  The lady to the right of me, I could care less about.  The young one was kicking my ass and I was not having that!  I look at her stats: mile 4, speed 6.5.  My stats: not one mile yet, speed 4.4.  At this point I feel like I've been on this monster for 6 hours!  "I'm dying", I said to myself in a panting whisper.  "Dear God, please give me the energy to speed up and look good on this machine!" That was my prayer right before I looked over at Forrest and saw she was on mile 5 and still going strong.  I finally reach mile 1 and thought, "I'm still alive". 
I used to be strong, energetic and full of life before my boys drained me of every bit of everything!  Totally worth it, but damn!  It's hard to get back to half of that energy after 18 years of no exercise! I used to go to the gym, work out like a maniac and look good doing it!  Now, I look like death trying to revive myself.  I remember one time, years ago, I was at the gym and back then, I could wear those tarty little get ups, my 'no belly' showing, boobs looking good, ass in place and thighs that would jump punch the hell out of you! lol  I'm not sure why I thought a cover up was necessary.  But the modest girl I am wore a sweatshirt over my work out clothes.  In walks this hunk of a man and all I could think about was what my next move would be to impress him.  I couldn't possibly win his heart wearing this baggy, big sweatshirt!  I was on mile 5, going strong, speed 6.5.  It never occurred to me that maybe I would get his attention in a less sexy way- I proceed to take my sweatshirt off, while still running.  I try to give the 'bedroom' eyes and a little hair flip.  I thought I could pull the look off, but instead I lost my balance, fell off the treadmill while the sweatshirt was tangled in my arms and around my face!!! lol  Not sexy at all.  I. Never. Went. Back!!! 
I'm totally having my 'A-ha' moment!!!  This is totally why I've never been back to a gym!  I'm scared of the treadmill and every piece of equipment associated with working out!  I'm sure.
So, back to last night!  My sister calls me and I've never been so thankful!!!  It was my opportunity to slow the hell down to 3.0.  Krista says she's coming to meet me at the gym.  Awesome.  Someone who I actually can beat at running!  Forrest Gump finally completes her 7 mile mission and looks like a beauty queen!  Krista steps onto the treadmill, starts out at 3.0.  Cool.  I'll at the very least look like a pro next to her.  Wrong.  She takes her speed up to like 5.0 and passes me right up!  lol  I'm done.  I lost my battle (with myself) and end with 3 miles, walking and running combined.  I'm satisfied with the 204 calories I burned! Tomorrow is 'Yay Cheat Day'!  I will try not to eat every thing in sight.  But I could totally use a margarita with some yummy chips n salsa.  It's sounds delish, but I start thinking how hard it was to burn those 204 calories and how easy it would be to pass that right up with one freaking soda!!! Anyway, I'll continue taking baby steps.  Tomorrow I have a health seminar in the morning.  Hoping to get some good eating information.  I want a lifestyle change, not to count calories for the rest of my life! 
I love this picture! It totally fits me- for now! lol 

Until next time! xoxo
~Annie