My Inspiration!

I've decided that this post is all about my cousin Jacob!  This guy is one of a kind and when I say one of a kind, I mean he's "ONE OF A KIND"!  He's wonderful in so many ways.  Growing up, it was Jacob and I.  Just cousins who really were best friends!  We had so much fun and although we had our times when he would jack me up or shove a snow cone up my face, we knew we were each other's best friend!  After all, that's what best friends do, right?  I never did ANYTHING to him! lol  I have a few fond memories of our childhood, growing up together.  I remember our summers when we'd go to the all time famous AstroWorld in Houston, Texas or camping at Lake Conroe where, by the way, my spider phobia began!  Another story, another time.  Better yet, I won't talk about that one, just too creepy!  Anyway, those trips were usually taken yearly and somehow, me, being an only child, would get the invite by my aunt and uncle. God bless them!  They probably knew I had no one to hang out with except Ken and Barbie.  On the weekends or weeks I'd go with my aunt and uncle I always suggested to Barbie that she have any surgeries needed (i.e. breast reduction, plastic surgery, etc.). I also made sure she was completely healed and ready to play by the time I got home!  lol  Duuuuumb, I know, but this was the life of an only child!  Give me a break! If I wasn't playing Barbies, I was planning my wedding or a wedding for Barbie!
My aunt Hilda and uncle Robert were pretty cool peeps until one of my cousins would screw up then we'd all get it!  Dammit boys!!!  That's when I really appreciated being an only child!  Jacob and I were the modern day Bonnie and Clyde, only we didn't drive or steal anything or kill anyone.  Ok, so, maybe not Bonnie and Clyde! We did things our parents never knew of like walking all over the furniture when they were out back, or, well, we don't need to discuss anymore of that!  We'd gather those stinky china berries off the tree and play 'war' with the neighbors.  Jake and I would always win!  We had the fullest buckets and the best aim! It's amazing to me how these two neighbors of mine still wanted to hang out and play with us after Jacob and I kicked some serious butt!
Flash Gordon!  What a movie!  That was one of our favorite movies too watch.  I remember watching it around Easter time before heading to the lake for the egg hunt festivities.  This was a great time for the family and Jacob and I would eat the fun up! 
Of course life happened as we grew, went to different schools, made different friends, had different lives, but nonetheless, we could pick up right where we left off the last time we hung out.  It was this amazing relationship between cousins.  I miss those times so much. 
I'll never forget the day I found out my best friend was sick.  Not just sick with a cold, but a brain tumor that would change our entire lives.  It felt like a death sentenced had just been issued and I just remember feeling the cold, the hurt, the shock, the loneliness, the sadness for my Jacob!  Why him?  How was he coping?  Did he understand what was going on?  Did he understand the severity? I hated life for a while.  I questioned my Father in heaven many times, when I never once should have.  I didn't understand. Through tears I coped as best I could.  He was told he wouldn't live for more than a year.  At seventeen, the strongest guy I knew would overcome his odds and with the help of God would never frown again.
Jacob has been my inspiration ever since.  He was seventeen, I was eighteen.  I realized that his spirit was bigger and stronger than that illness that was trying so hard to take him from us.  He successfully went through his surgeries and beat the odds.  He has struggled in his everyday life and I must say I have NEVER seen this man unhappy.  He's grateful for everything!  He is grateful for life!  He is a spirit, a genuine, loving spirit who is amazingly draws you in!  You just want to be like him.  He radiates with God's love.  His will to survive is strong.  He always has a smile on his face.  Today, he is 39 years old and although he has a couple things going on that hinder him from even the simple things in life, he continues to reach for the stars.  He is an incredible artist.  He used to be right handed before his illness, but now he's a lefty- like me! :)  Jacob does awesome work and WILL NOT quit striving for more.  He will be 40 soon and I cannot wait for him to join my '40 club' with me!  We have many more memories to make, my cousin and I.
I don't know how to put this without it sounding rude, but truth of the matter is, his memory isn't what it used to be prior to his illness.  So, I, from this day forward, will send text messages and pictures to keep communication open with him.  I don't get to see him as often as I would like.  We each have our lives and are both busy in our own ways.  I see Jacob some holidays and sometimes during the year when my aunt Hilda and Uncle Robert come to San Antonio to visit.  Each time they come to visit, Jacob has a bazillion scratch off tickets to scratch!  It's one of his favorite things to do aside from making fun of each of us! lol Good times, good times! I know one day he's gonna hit the jackpot and he's gonna take off and leave us all behind! lol So until he wins the lotto, he must settle for going here and there, and I'm the lucky one who gets to fulfil his wants of spending money- only it's MY money he spends! lol I'll probably never take him to Hobby Lobby again, though!!  I took Jacob one time and he suckered me into buying him all kinds of drawing pads, pencils, etc.!  955.00 later I was dropping him off!  lol  I'm kidding!  I loved doing that with and for him!  To see the happy look on his face gives me such pleasure.  There are so many other things I want to do with Jacob.  I'd love the opportunity to go to a theme park like when we were kids, or go to a movie, or sit and watch Flash Gordon.  I want our childhood back, but I am thankful that we've made it this far as adults.  I've learned an immense amount of love, humility and life worth from Jacob and that is something I keep with me always.  "Jacob, if you're reading this, please know that I am so thankful for you.  I love that you were chosen to be my cousin.  I'm sorry that you had to endure so much in your life, but know that I have prayed for you all along.  I will never stop praying for you.  I've have great memories from our childhood and still do in our adult life.  Even though our lives are different, they're still the same because we have a connection that will never be broken!  You are amazing, spirited, lovely, gracious, and a joy to be around.  You are my inspiration.  When I think my life is going rough, I stop and think of you and what you've endured in your life.  At that point, my problems are really not problems at all.  You make me smile, laugh and when I feel sad a thought of you brings me right back where I need to be!  I can never express my gratitude for what you do to my heart.  You probably don't think you're doing anything, but know this, YOU INSPIRE ME AND MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON! I love you very much!"

I love you, my cousin!
~xoxo