Black Friday Eve

So, here's the deal with this; I've NEVER been to 'Black Friday'- ever- so I'm a little curious this year.  What is all the craze about?  Can you really save money?  Are the people out there really mean?  Do people do research prior to going out there?  Do they really take the time to pitch a tent and camp out?  This is crazy!  So, this year I've convinced my sister to go with me.  I'm borderline claustrophobic, so it really makes more sense for me to stay home, but I reeeeaaalllyy want to do this- at least once in my lifetime! I've done a little research of my own and I've found a few tips and strategies that may help me conquer this thing people call Black Friday. Below are a few listed things to follow (so they say), and a couple I've added:

The night before:
Tips say, make a list.  I say, DONE!

I shouldn't have to explain this list to anyone!

Tips say, map out your route.  I say, "Plan of attack,,,done!!!"

This is called homework!



Tips say, Have store maps ready.  I say, DONE!

Tips say to have a store map ready to go because they could

possibly have TV's in the garden center or movies in the

clothing section or toys in the deli section!  WTF???  Why?

I'm going to shop! I didn't sign up for a scavenger hunt!  Dammit!  I don't suppose

they would have stuff in the wine isle??? Seems as though

I'll need to go there first and foremost!

Tips say, know the downsides of using a debit card vs. credit card.  I say, it doesn't matter when you have old school checks to write so you can hold up the line and piss people off just a wee bit more! lol 

Tips say, charge your cell phones.  You may need to call home for a size, opinion, or description of item.  I say, if I call home in the middle of the night and wake people up to ask for a size, they are gonna kill me!! Shouldn't you have all the info you need on your list prior to going out and sealing your fate on Black Friday?

My list (above) is easy because I know exactly what I want! 

Tips say, pack light snacks.  I say, we just ate a whole turkey and fixings, we should NOT be hungry!  Large Marge is a different story, however.  She might benefit from a double cheeseburger from Mickey D's at 2am!  No where on the list did it say drink heavily prior to shopping.  Hmmm... I think I might!

The Morning of (or midnight):

Tips say, stay hydrated.  I say, pack a water bottle (with a self closing hook that you can hang on a belt loop or the forbidden fanny pack) and fill it with your favorite beverage! (wink, wink)

Tips say, think first.  OMG!  Serious?  The only thing I'm thinking of is whether I should wear my comfortable Uggs or the ever stylish Antonio Melani flats? Ugh...decisions! 

Tips say, be objective.  What???  "The automatic nervous system arousal that accompanies a competitive shopping situation, such as Black Friday or a highly desirable object, can block logical purchase rationale and makes us more prone to impulse purchases." I say, first of all, that sounds like me all the time and second, the only highly desirable object I can think of is tall, dark, and delicious!  Wine people, wine!!

Tips say, relax.  LOL!  Really?  I hardly think I'm relaxed after hearing I could possible be trampled to death! 

Tips say, take your maps and lists.  I say, I should hope so! I worked hard on that crap!

Tips say, leave the kids at home.  I say, bring 'em!!  Hell, give them the list and let them run around the store like crazy animals while I sit back in the comforter section drinking my 'water'!

Tips say, wear comfortable clothes and shoes.  I say, I kinda have the shoes down, but the clothes part...having a little trouble.  Some say wear a shirt with a chest pocket for your phone, others say use a blue tooth so your hands are free to kill others!  Shoulder pads and a football helmet may not be a bad idea!

Tips say, use a fanny pack.  I say, unless it's a Dooney pack, I ain't usin' one!

Tips say, leave tents and chairs at home.  I say, where the hell are you gonna put all that stuff when it's time to enter the store?  That's an extra trip to the car/truck unless you bring Keila or Gracie who can guard all your stuff.  Guarantee your stuff will all be there when you come back.  If they can kick ass for DVD's at a yard sale they'll surely kick some B U T T for a tent and chairs!

Here come the strategies:

Take a buddy with you.  

     Hmmm.... I was thinking of going alone and using my super powers to divide myself into five people so I can get everything I want and stand in different lines all at once!

Get there early.

     Earlier than what?  They say stores have limited quantities of their lowest priced items and if you arrive after daybreak they very well could be gone.  Do you turn into a pumpkin too when the clock strikes 6am?

Avoid using a shopping cart.

     "Look Mom!  I got the 52 inch TV!!! No, no, don't worry, I'll carry it on my back while I search for more items!"   

Don't shop for yourself.

     But....... this defeats the whole purpose of my list!

Don't buy things that aren't on your list. 

     Ok.  So, just the items on MY list???  But it just said not to shop for myself.  I'm so confused!

Conceal items you bought in your car! 

     Or,,, have Gracie and Keila wait in the car!

So far this all seems pretty simple. Nothing I can't handle, right?  We shall see.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and my sister and I will be having lunch with the family before preparing for our first night of Black Friday shopping.  The adventure begins and this story will be continued!