I'm having a crisis! I'm attending an outing on Saturday night, out of town and my boys don't want to go. I can't blame them, I guess, being that they are just shy of 17 and 11 years old. I can't get myself to accept that Jacob is pretty much an adult and Austin is almost a teenager! Holy shizzznit! Where has the time gone? Even though Jacob has been mature since he was TWO, I still see him in baby/child form.
Awww...my 'sunberlee'! (inside joke- Bae, you'll appreciate that! More on this later). OMG! Who can resist that button nose and those lips! I used to just smother him with kisses all over his cheeks and lips! YUMMMY! By the way, Jacob wore that Tigger costume from the age of 4 til yesterday! lol
I get it, they grow up, but They're always gonna be my babies! Austin is more of my 'child' child. He will always be a kid at heart! I mean seriously, I even put him in the tub to play. It was safer than a play pen, I thought, that is until he learned how to turn the water on! Then I worried about him drowning! Bubbles! I need life size bubbles for my boys! lol This one I tend to worry more about:
This is Austin at the chubby age of 8 months respectively! I call him my 'cereal boy' partially because I kept the cereal business booming for the last month of my pregancy. Mr. Kellog and Mr. Post would've been so happy! I was the sickest I'd ever been in my entire life the first 7 months! Glow??? Ya, right! Not here! I was pale white in between my throw up sessions and a doo doo, shit brown shade of green the rest of the time! I couldn't even hold water down for 7 months. I won't even go into the complications of it all- I'd be here for E.V.E.R.! So, when my eigth month came along and I could actually eat, well, my choice of food was cereal! Any kind, any where, any time, all the time! I'd go through about 2-3 gallons of WHOLE milk a week! Faaaatttyyy! I gained the rest of my weight, actually all of it, in the last month! I was miserable! I hated not being able to wear my overalls. I now had to resort to big boxer shorts and tee shirts! Yuck! I wasn't a pretty sight, but whatever! I totally loved the fact that I didn't have to get dressed up and could sit on a couch with a tub of Sugar Smacks! (note: if you eat too many smacks, your pee will smell like smacks! no joke!)
Anyway, as I was saying, I have this thing to go to this weekend (in San Marcos which is like 20 minutes away???) and it will require me to be gone all day Saturday and Saturday night. Austin is going to some sort of 'lock in' for church Friday night- from 7pm until 8am Saturday morning. I plan on picking him up at 8am then leaving town. Jacob is too cool for school and doesn't want to go to the lock in or with me on Saturday. He says he wants to stay home and since AJ will be TKO for probably most of Saturday, they will be fine. (Note to self: if they stay alone I must have easy Mac for Jacob!) I'm not terribly worried being that Gracie (Gma) lives 3 minutes up the road and can be there with her fists ready to throw down in like 2 seconds flat or just to pick them up for a wonderful Grandparent/Grandchild night filled with popcorn, funny movies, hugs n kisses, cookie making, etc., etc. but here's where my issues come into play; I'm not ready to leave my children like that. I know, I know, Jacob is pretty much 17 and is mature and smart...
but the little one.... notsamuch! Just the other day I was on my way home from work, as usual, and I get the dreaded call. Every parents worst nightmare! Well except for Susan Smith and Andrea Yates (Beotches!!!) My mom says to me, "I can't find Austin!" I'm like, "What???!??? He shoulda been home hours ago! What are you talking about?" She tells me that he asked to go play outside and she let him. Well when she went to get him, he was no where to be found. My heart instantly dropped and I, being the overprotective, worry wort of a mother, immediately began to panic! Where is my child, my baby? OMG! What do I do? (No, he doesn't have a cell phone for those of you smart alecs out there!) He could be anywhere! So Jacob and my mom are driving the neighborhood as was I. I wave at this cop car that happened to be driving down the street and in tears I ask for help. There were two of them so great! The more the merrier! The first cop started taking info about Austin; what was he wearing (of course, the first question- with my memory??? Really?) "uh.... black shorts and a ..... with ....um..." What a terrible mother I am! I couldn't even remember the outfit my son left home with earlier that morning. "Ma'am, eye color?" "uh....BROWN" (yes! Score!), "hair color?" "uh...BROWN" (score again!), "how tall is he?" "uh.... this high". I know, this is awful! Was I just in a panic? Were these officers just too damn good looking that I couldn't concentrate? (I can kid around about that now!!!) Or was my ginko biloba failing my memory?? Dammit! All I kept thinking about was missing DWTS (lol juuuuuust kidding!) Seriously, all I kept thinking about was 'how could this happen? Am I the next mother who's child will be on a billboard??'
I was sooo heartbroken and scared! I knew in my heart of hearts that he had to be at a friend's house and all would be fine, but who's house? which friend? My child could make friends with a wall- no telling who he was with! I was a mess! Mascara running down my cheeks and all I wanted was my son in my arms. (and for one of these officers to wipe the tears from my face ever so gently! lol jj- again!) During this 45 minute 'Austin extravaganza' I get a call from Jacob. "Mom, he's here." "Where are you?" Jacob proceeds to tell me that Austin is at Grandma Gracie's (tan tan ran), with Grandma Gracie (tan tan ran)! "Thank you Lord!" I asked no further questions, apologized to my future cop husband and headed to my mom's house where I'm sure the beatings had already begun! I get to Gracie's and she, Jacob and Austin are sitting out front. All I see are Gracie's hands going all over the place, mouth moving and eyebrows gathered at the center of her face! Holy crap! Should I save my runaway or let her tear. him. up.?? hmm... I get out of the car and go directly to AJ, arms out, running in slo mo (pfft..haha) and Gracie starts yelling at me! lol "you need to repremend this kid...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"....and so on! My poor mother. I totally didn't hear a word she said after 'kid'. I'm sure she was very upset and thinking about the Grandma of the Year award she just lost due to losing my child. lol Just kidding Mom! She was rightfully upset and I totally understand her frustration, but I was just happy to see my son. I had just had an inkling of that terrible feeling of what some parents experience when they lose their own precious treasures. Not good and for all those people out there I say, "May God be with you and my prayers to all"! So, of course, Grandma Gracie is still yelling at the boy when the cops drive by and ask if all is good. Gracie's choice of words... "yes, sir! now i'm gonna beat the crap out of him!" Holy crap! Now we're really going to jail! ... For child abuse! My goodness, first the stolen salt now child abuse? Gimme a break! At the rate I'm going I'll be in the pen for a long time! Does anyone know if it's a 'must' to wear orange? Is there any other color? I need a color that looks good with my skin tone. What about shoes? Am I allowed to take my Melani flats? I know I said I'm not a 'flats' kinda gal, but I'm sure I'll need comfort when I'm running from all the Helgas of the prison!
So, my sweet child, Austin has been trying to earn his 'being responsible' stripes by setting his alarm and actually getting up in the morning all by himself! He gets into the shower and is ready to go even before I get my sleepy self out of bed! He'll even take out the trash and make some breakfast! For those of you who know Austin, he's alot like me; not a morning person. End of story. Period. I have to tell him what to do and what to wear each day. If I let him dress himself, people will definately think we are homeless! (Could just be my OCD again, but...) You would think that I would've remembered what he was wearing on the day he decided to seal his own fate with Grandma since I pick out his clothes but this just happened to be one of the days I decided to let him choose his own outfit as part of my 'letting go' period. I will be picking out his clothes until he gets married in which I can then turn the torch over to 'wifey'! lol I was totally impressed, nonetheless, with the responsible Austin I was seeing!
Well, all is safe and I'm now left with the decision of what to do with my boys. Should I stop squeezing them and let them breathe a little? My therapist says I should, but my heart says to still hold on. My head says to hold on and Jacob says, "LET GO! You're such a worrier and you make things bigger than they really are." Was this a mature lesson from my almost adult son? Or did he read that off the car door mirror??? Ugh... motherhood is by far the most challenging (yet rewarding) job in the whole world. I know God will take care of my babies when I physically cannot be there. I truly believe that.
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