Have you ever been in an a rather less than comfortable moment? I've had plenty of uncomfortable moments. I can usually reason with myself by saying, 'it's your annual exam and you totally have to have this done', even though I can never understand why the hell the doctor's have to shove their entire arm all the way up to my esophagus, or 'don't worry, Anna, everyone trips in the parking lot outside of KFC in front of half the world'! Well, today was one of those 'uncomfortable moment' days.
Today for lunch I decided I would make a quick trip to HEB to pick up something semi healthy and sweetarts. Hush! They're minis! Anyway, since I've been eating like crap for my birthday I've noticed I seem to have a little more heartburn these days. No problem. All I need to do is pick up some Ranitidine tablets, 150mg, maximum strength acid reducer. Problem solved! So, I turn down the isle which is closest to the pharmacy area of the store which, by the way happens to be the personal hygiene isle. At the end of the isle I spot two crazy looking dudes, one with a basket, one with a messed up hair do. As I get closer I hear the guy with the dirty, matted hair asking basket guy which condoms work best. OMG! I am not hearing this! He proceeds to yell, "Trojan Man! Trojan!!!" Holy crap! My jaw dropped, eyes popped out and i became frozen stiff! Now I'm thinking I should turn and go the other way. But I'm a big girl,,,I can handle just 'walking by'. The guy with the basket was talking about easy glide. Something I really didn't need to hear but did because they WERE JUST ABOUT YELLING!!! I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I was almost embarrassed for them. This was the longest isle walk I've ever taken! So many thoughts were going through my head; Were they partners? Or was basket guy helping ratty guy with choosing the most effective product for his special night out? IDK! I didn't want to know! I was just thankful that he was using the products to prevent any type of reproduction! Somehow, I was still only half way down the stupid isle! Ratty guy is still asking questions as basket guy walks off. He yells out, "Her pleasure? How much are these? Should I buy one box?" Now, I'm getting really embarrassed! It took everything inside of me to hold back from saying, 'you'll be really lucky if you use one box!' OMG!!! I was totally hating this moment! What if someone sees me in this isle and thinks this little, creepy guy is with me? Ewww!!! The last thing I needed was for someone to think we had 'relations' and were gonna have a 'night'! (I just threw up in my mouth!!!)! This is where I started praying. 'Please, God, don't let this strange, little guy make eye contact with me or ask questions. Please just get me to the pharmacy so I can get my heartburn meds and pepto because I'm totally gonna throw up!' I don't think He heard my desperate little prayer clearly. The guy makes eye contact with me as I'm walking by and says, 'um....ma'am?' My heart sank, I let out a huge sigh and said to myself, 'Nooooooo!' Do I pretend I don't hear him and keep walking? Or flat out tell him he doesn't belong in this section and perhaps the soap isle would be best! I did the mature thing and said, 'yes?'
Ratty guy: "Do you know the price of these?"
Me: "no. sorry." I keep walking. Seriously?
Ratty guy: "um...ma'am?" Now I pretended not too hear him and turned the corner where I wanted to die and cry at the same time! I just stood there and looked up and shook my head. I could still hear him talking, TO HIMSELF, about all the possible women he could have.
I mean, who does that? I'm still wondering why me??? lol My next stop: the liquor store! I just had the best day yesterday. Now, I'm scarred and confused and feeling violated! lol I'll definitely be seeking more therapy for this one!!!
~desperately seeking therapy!
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