Don't 'Fly' Away

Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're just confused!  I'm sure you've heard that saying, without the 'confused' part.  I added that on my own, obviously.  With everything that's been going on in my life lately I'm beginning to feel like I'm straying from the core of He who holds me together.  This is not an option for me.  I must get back on track with HIM ASAP!  Sunday I sat in church and weeped.  I woke up Monday and weeped some more. I prayed last night and tears rolled down my face- again.  I don't know what to pray for other than those around me.  But I need prayer.  Today, I woke up feeling a little better.  I've had a few rough moments with great times in between, but seems as though the rough times have been outweighing the good times lately. I just cannot allow that to happen.  I know that I need to redirect my focus and get my crap together! 
This morning I got into my car and saw two humongous flies.  I thought for a second they might carry me off somewhere, but they were nice enough to allow me to enter my car and shut the door...quickly, I might add.  I'm not scared of flies, but I certainly don't want them near me. They're gross to look at, not too mention a little intimidating.  I did a little research to see if I could learn a little more about these prehistoric, giant mosquitoes.  This is what I found:

Gross right?  I began to read on these ugly looking things and found out that they are actually called Crane Flies.  They are only alive for a couple days and usually do not feed.  What??? No food??  Two day life span?  I felt sorry for them immediately and felt so much better that I didn't use my windshield wipers to dispose of them this morning.  It says in the research that they are widespread across the Galveston-Houston region.  Well, as many as I've seen in the San Antonio region, it would be safe to say they are widespread here too. 
Back to this morning as I was leaving; I turn on my car and back out.  I slowly begin to drive and for some reason I'm really intrigued with these little creatures.  I was curious to see how long it would take for them to fly off.  I imagined them talking to one another saying something like, "dude, she's taking off.  Brace yourself and get your goggles ready.  Remember, don't let go!  Be strong! We still have a couple seconds before she's on the wide open road and we possibly lose each other.  Don't worry though, we'll see each other again soon....very soon being that our life span is only a couple days.  Tak...." .then 'dude' few off!  The other strong fly spread out his legs, lowered himself to the windshield, wings back, goggles on and just hung on.  I was surprised to see this fly of strength hang on they way he did.  I came to a light and he raised himself and walked around.  Once I began to drive off, I drove off slowly to give him time to brace himself once more.  He did.  Wow!  In that moment, instead of focusing on the road, I was thinking to myself, 'this is how I see me right now.  Just like this fly, minus the two day life span and no feeding', but with all the emotions, sadness and chaos I've been feeling these last few days, I thought maybe this is God's clever way of showing me that I just need to hang on.  Be strong.  That this crazy roller coaster I've been on will subside and I will be myself again. I smiled and began to feel good.  A quick insight I learned:
Crane flies have a modified structure behind their wings called haltere.  This haltere resembles a golf club and is visible to the naked eye.  The function of these halteres is to stabilize them during high speeds.  Interesting huh?  Well, make no mistake, I probably don't even know what the hell I'm talking about or if they're even called crane flies.  It sounded good and I was beginning to sound a little smart! lol  Anyway, the story and the meaning behind it is really what I wanted to put out there.  That was the important part for me.  And after all of that....

the wind took my friend. Crap! He was gone,,,just like that. 

A few lessons learned:
Don't lose hope
Be strong in your faith
Believe that YOU CAN overcome anything
Believe that YOU WILL be OK
Never ride on anyone's windshield
Have your goggles always ready to go
Don't kill the Crane Fly- they only have a two day life span anyway.
And, be happy that these "mosquito hawks" don't bite!!!

~Me